So wonderfully horrendous…agonisingly euphoric…

…you just want to cry out of pure frustration yet savour those special butterflies in your stomach. Knowing that you can never have the man…knowing that he doesn’t view you the same way…that helpless feeling knowing that he has his own life. One where you don’t feature. Arrghh….I absolutely love but hate crushes!

And the worst part…this one snuck up on me. I mean I knew him (who doesn’t?) but out of the blue, one day, the besotted-ness just hit me square on. I never saw it coming. I can’t pinpoint what triggered the wiring in my brain to go haywire…something just did. And now…I’m not managing to get over him. What are you????? 16 years old????? Crazy?????

Possibly it was because he was just another guy until that point where he realised things needed to be done and without muscling his way through, but rather even battered and bruised joins the “opposition” and makes some plans taking everyone’s input into account:

I’m on about a man who speaks his mind. He’s confident and goes after what he wants. When others don’t dare, he does it. He ruffles the feathers and gets stuff done. Who wouldn’t crush on a man like that? He’s also clever and has a plan, even though he’ll often deny it or claim he’s not educated (raised in a brothel)…

…he’s worked his way upwards. He has a drive to better himself. He has used the resources available to him to observe, listen, train, grow, learn…and has become something better. Through pure determination, trial-and-error as well as long hard hours, the fact that he is underestimated gives him an advantage. And definitely doesn’t deter him in business dealings with the “aristocracy” who mock him. He listens. He soaks it up. And then speaks wiser than any of those with formal education.

He is ultimately respected by his friends (and enemies) and likewise respects them. He doesn’t claim a higher status amongst them and even makes a round table so all are equal:

But, I’m not his type. A man like that wants a fit, young and pretty woman. One who can hold her own when the going gets tough. That’s why, he might be single now (I guess he has work to do at this stage), but we all know how things go once Guinevere enters the scene. Don’t we?

But, I can dream on, can’t I?  About the things that make a man total crush material.

Oh…did I mention…I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, but in case you didn’t, my character crush is on Arthur. Not the King. But the man, who grew up not knowing his true background. That gives him so much more character for me. Makes him so much more attractive. The fact that he doesn’t use his status to get ahead.

Head over to my crush posts from previous Blogathon years: Crushing on Will Scarlett and Lucky Luciano (here), Sexy Crush…Peaky Blinders’ Tommy Shelby (here) and Unsuspecting Crush (here)

And now that I’ve disclosed my latest crush you can read about others over at Silver Screenings (here, here and here) or Font and Frock (here) (aka A Smell Press Life)

Unsuspecting Crush…

Trying and trying to decide on who to write about I think I’ve developed a totally unexpected crush…he’s kind of snuck up on me. Cheeky bugger. Can’t believe it. And here I was looking through all (not that many, I’m not that shallow) my “obvious” crushes, desperately trying to decide who got the chance this year for the long awaited Reel Infatuation Blogathon. I didn’t even realise I had developed a crush on him until my conscious asked me why I kept watching a specific movie, hang on, rephrase that…specific scenes in a specific movie (you’ll cringe when you hear which one) over…and over…and over…and over…and…oh you get the idea. Definitely crush, right? I guess that’s how it goes with these things. They hit you full strength when you least expect them.

Even weirder…why one particular person and not another? I mean, what makes a person who is not normally one’s “type” be the object of a crush? Totally bizarre. Must definitely be something more than just their looks. Well, I guess that’s the thing…people aremore than just looks. Here’s my latest crush…

It all started in a way that these things often start with me…that is…not knowing which movie to watch and not really thinking too hard, on goes an “arb” one…in this case, on went…oooh, do I even admit to this…hmmmm….gosh, I’m so embarrassed….ok, fine…Austenland (2013). I’d never heard of it before and I sure couldn’t imagine JJ Feild as a romantic lead. I mean come on, he was that bastard Thax, who (spoiler alert) cut his fellow comrade’s Achilles tendon to save himself from starving wolves. I was so happy when he met his deserving death in that role (Centurion (2010)). Anyway, movie starts, I’m a bit sceptical about this whole setup in general but I keep watching. I vaguely acknowledge Mr Henry Nobley (Feild) because, he’s the prejudged backstabber of course.

Hang on…I’m watching that introduction of him (peering over a book, pretending not to be interested, but totally intrigued) for the second, hang on, third, or is it fourth time?

Oh, the joys of technology where you can go straight to the scene you want. Next thing I know I’m on the scene where he brings heroine in from the rain…second, third…oh sod it…however many-eth time. Oooh, and the ending…how romantic. But then…I guess, it is understandable that he is so wonderful because the character he is based on is the perfect gentleman in Jane Austen’s works. How could I not fall for him? And I have you know…I’ve fallen for the gentleman for a change. And you thought after the last two years’ entries I’d bring another bad boy along…huh? Huh? See?

I’m going to have to head on to spoilers now…sorry…just to point out the reasons that won me over…

How he gazes at Jane so discretely but just wonderfully…aaahhhhh….There’s something about those “disbelieving” looks he gives from time to time that just…I don’t know…look good…damn good…and they are always to bring a bit of reality back to the ridiculous situation (you’ll understand when you watch).

Having just told Jane that while he finds Austenland quite grotesque he likes the simplicity of Jane Austen’s world where “love is straightforward and lasting”. Now a guy like that’s a keeper. Adding the cherry on top in this scene, who wouldn’t have a big humongous crush on a guy who delivers a genuine line “Jane, you are my fantasy.”? Even Jane thinks that only happens in movies:

“Jane, you are my fantasy”

As for a guy who wears a “I ♡ Darcy” t-shirt for his girlfriend…need I say more? Actually, all along, he just goes with the flow and comes across totally at ease with Jane. No pretenses. Just himself. Even when admitting he was really bad in the play that was put on.

Confirmation that this is a character that’s won me over and not the actor is when I go out looking for other roles for fueling the wonderful feeling and never find them. Because, it is after all, that particular character who has a way about him. Otherwise, I’d have developed a crush on Thax in the first place and trust me…I was disgusted by his actions. But Henry, ah, he’s so sweet. *Sigh*

Thax? Oh no, whew, just Mr Nobley in costume…

And now you expect me to concentrate? Really? Actually, I’m still trying to figure out how this one wrangled his way into the Blogathon.

As for the movie itself…it is just wacky and over the top. Totally ditsy and silly yet good fun to watch and dare I say, has some clever moments. You may be a bit confused with the pictures i.e. the setting sometimes appearing period piece other times not. Don’t be confused. It all comes together.

Thanks to Silver Screenings, Front and Frock and A Small Press Life for another wonderful year of making us all giddy and starry eyed…

For my previous years’ entries check out Sexy Crush…Peaky Blinders’ Tommy Shelby and Crushing on Will Scarlett and Lucky Luciano.

Sexy crush…Peaky Blinders’ Tommy Shelby

I’d pretty much written this post (albeit unconvincingly)…then I went to Switzerland…

My sexy crush was obvious from the very start – Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders. Yet somehow, I just didn’t know why. Last year’s choice for this Blogathon (here) was easy – a look back on a straightforward teenage crush. But now, 20 or so years later, what’s the appeal in a bad boy? I should be more mature than that. Actually, maybe that’s exactly it…as a teenager, the crush is probably more superficial, more about looks and visual appeal. Now, sexy (which goes hand-in-hand with a crush for me) is much, much more than that. It took me a week of time-out from the everyday with some awesome people* together with great conversation to realise this (I probably knew it anyway – I just hadn’t formalised it in my mind). In fact, one of the topics (co-incidentally) we contemplated one night was exactly that – what makes a person sexy and appealing? We’d agreed (I think) that it was more than just looks. While we didn’t chat about it long, it did get me thinking…

So…I consider myself a good girl who doesn’t really fall for bad boys but ooh, oooh, oooooh, I just couldn’t help falling head over heels with Tommy Shelby. From the opening scene of Peaky Blinders I was totally smitten. Whwwwwew…it isn’t easy trying to write up a post while totally swooning over the character in question. Moving along swiftly…but hey…he’s just sooooo sexy…

Yes…sexy. What is it that makes a man sexy in the first place? Why do you fall for him? Why do we have that crush? One that almost wrenches your heart out? Because crushes are infatuations we have with the unattainable.

What draws me to Mr Shelby (and yes, that’s “Mr” to you or anyone else he encounters who isn’t family or exempt from formalities)? I don’t know. I really don’t. Maybe it’s that he’s always well dressed. Maybe it’s that se… that was pre-mini-break…
Now, I think I know. It has something to do with his presence…definitely. He’s the first person I notice in the room on the screen. The only one who draws me in. Inexplicably. Immediately. Some sort of combination of charisma, outward confidence and yes, naturally (because I’m human), looks. Not the society-conditioned-hot-hunky look but a mature, sophisticated, yet very attractive look. And outwardly, he acts and dresses that way too:

I’d never consciously noticed eyes on men before, but strangely enough, the eyes seem to be a striking trait found in the men I’ve found sexy. Don’t take me wrong….I don’t often have crushes, but those few I’ve had, now thinking about it, have something about their eyes. Just look at these:

And the crush in question has some “rough” edges…he’s definitely not a boyish man…no, he’s a manly man but never old man. Oh just look at him:

There’s some ruggedness about him yet at the same time he has a softer way with women. What makes Tommy Shelby attractive is that Grace never needs to go out her way to attract his attention. He goes about doing his job and whatever else he deems important and the relationship just happens – a natural “gel”.  He’s also able to hold a good conversation.

And…it is not about the “deed”, the “s” word…not at all. Tommy Shelby has all the appeal without that. The ultimate for me, the defining moment, is where he (spoiler alert) “rescues” Grace from the men who want their own way with her (even though the “off-putting, totally un-crushable” part should be that he led her to them but I’ll just file that away for now).

He has a history that has shaped him. Hidden daemons. Depth. Dimensions. But he’s not scared to admit it. Through this, he makes me feel alive. There’s a sense of living dangerously (of course, glamourised, it being a series). And that gives even more flutters. Re-ignites something that the day-to-day life doesn’t have. In fact, one of the people I spoke to overseas said something along the lines of falling not for the person but for the euphoric, electric feeling one experiences from the person in question. A high.

Realistically, I know I shouldn’t like him. I mean, who likes a guy who’s every move, every action has an underlying motive? Tommy Shelby never, ever does anything “just so”. Absolutely everything is calculated and for the good of him (and his family – which is totally sexy in the right context) or his business ventures. And he’s mean, cold and pure work, no fun. He’s a gangster.

While crushes and sexiness are far more than just this, I’ll ponder those thoughts some more. In the meantime, my tummy flutters. I’m totally aloof, struggling to think straight. There’s been some profound effect on me.

Ok, ok, fine…I’ll admit it, I’m shallow – he just looks so damn good. There. Happy?

On a less shallow and infatuated note…if you haven’t seen BBC’s Peaky Blinders, I highly recommend you give it a go. Yes, it is gritty, dark and violent but it is really excellent with superb performances from all involved. They include Cillian Murphy, Sam Neill, Paul Anderson, Joe Cole, Helen McCrory, Sophie Rundle, Ned Dennehy, Ian Peck, Annabelle Wallis, Tom Hardy, Iddo Goldberg, Noah Taylor and many more.

Gosh, I could go watch Peaky Blinders right now…I think I will.

*To L and S (Ihr wisst wer ihr seid), thank you for putting my post into perspective and for some good conversation last week.

Thanks to Silver Screenings and Font and Frock for hosting this hot, hot Blogathon. Head on over to Reel Infatuation to read more…and…for my teenage infatuation with Lucky Luciano and Will Scarlett have a look at my entry from last year’s Reel Infatuation Blogathon: Crushing on Will Scarlett and Lucky Luciano.